“Rachel, tell me what you do in your free time.”  I stared in disbelief at the therapist sitting across from me.   After an awkward amount of silence and staring she followed up with another zinger, “how do you recharge?”. 

“Well….”

This exchange occurred during the peak of my career.  I was making great money, was as busy as I could be, and traveling the world meeting fabulous people.  Basically, I had accomplished all the goals I had set for myself when I started in hair school at the age of 16.  

So why did I have this overwhelming feeling of discontent and crushing feeling of being stuck? I should have been happy 24/7. I decided to take some of my hard-earned money and seek out a therapist to help me get to the bottom of this quandary.

At first I was confused by her question.  I don’t require batteries and I thought, of course, I was Wonder Woman that could do everything with unlimited energy.  Why would I ever need to recharge? On occasion, when the pain in my back would get too much from the long hours at work, I would blow up my massage therapist’s phone trying to get a last-minute, unscheduled appointment. But beyond that I really had no clue what she meant by “free time” and “recharging”.  These were foreign concepts to me.

 

The “aha” moment

Sometimes we just need someone to hold up a mirror to help us see what’s really happening.  This therapist was able to help me discover I had been so busy making a career and a fabulous life that I had put myself at the bottom of the list of things that needed attention.  If I ever wanted to feel content and satisfied I had to learn to check-in with myself, put myself first, and do things that made ME feel happy. This realization was a game-changer.

I’m sure you can relate.  All of our lives are filled with so many responsibilities and constant busyness.  We’re all the time working hard at being good bosses, employees, spouses, girlfriends/boyfriends, moms/dads, daughters/sons, and friends that we forget to care for ourselves.  Every year seems to go by faster and faster and, if we’re not careful, we’ll quickly become overwhelmed, discontent, and maybe even suffocated by the pressures of our lives.

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m here to tell you that you can’t pour from an empty cup…or bottle.

Recharge

You’ll never guess what I did next.  I made a hair appointment. I decided that if I was going to pay someone to listen to me and help me figure out what makes me feel happy and recharged I might as well get a great blowout in the process!  

Now, I’m not saying that if you’re in therapy you should dump your counselor and just get your hair done BUT, at a hair appointment with the right stylist, you will receive the benefits of sitting in a comfy chair, spending dedicated time with one person who is focused and present with you, your thoughts and feelings, and will guarantee that you leave feeling and looking better than when you walked in. Oh and you’ll get that recharge that you so desperately need!

A hair appointment is a very personal thing.  A stylist listens to your requests and provides suggestions.  They take the time to wash your hair, give you a relaxing neck and scalp massage and an incredible blowout that lasts for days.  And all you have to do is schedule one tiny hour in your day every 4-8 weeks. Seems simple, right?

Satisfaction

As the weeks passed I found more and more ways to fall in love with my free time and discovered even more interests and activities that recharged my depleted batteries. I decided to start giving myself some boundaries and saying “no” to extra work that would have provided more income but would have led to me sacrificing a more balanced life.

Working out by lifting weights became a great boost for my mental health as well as my body.  I began spending more time outdoors and getting my nails done regularly. I was even making the most of my gym membership by using the sauna as a spa and giving myself a facial and hair treatment! Slowly but surely those feelings of discontent, being overwhelmed and stuck-in-a-rut dissipated.

So here is my free-of-charge advice to all of you who may be in the same place that I was…
1.Check-in with yourself.
2.Ask yourself, “what do you do in your free time?”
3.Find out what you need to recharge.

Try to remember…life is too serious to always be serious.  Take some time out to relax, recharge, and maybe even book that blowout!

Love, Rachel

 

 

 

Rachel Cole/author
Celeste Greenlee/editor